There is a conceptual fallacy that has existed for many years but seems to have recently increased in popularity. It is the notion of the bad puppy: my puppy is so bad he ate my favorite shoe, knocked over grandma, chewed through a wall, dug up the yard, destroyed a pillow, drug a table around, pooped in a museum, chased a cat, jumped out a second story window, knocked a window out of my car, humped a pillow, got mud on my shirt on my way to work, got out of the fence, got on the counter, stole the steaks, released the parking brake, set the curtains on fire, peed on my bed…
Let me share a slightly painful insight with you—these are not bad puppies, they are just puppies owned by idiots. The amount of trouble your puppy gets into is a measure of your IQ, not his mischievousness.
I know, it hurts and you want to deny it. Don’t. Believe me, whatever your puppy has done, I have seen it. My house has raised countless puppies of every variety, lions, hyenas, raccoons, crows, lemurs, antelope, skunks, wolves, coyotes, goats, chickens, rats, kinkajou, etc. I have seen things destroyed that you would not believe. I have seen my house flooded and my car’s interior completely destroyed, and I can honestly tell you it is almost always the owner’s fault…
If it seems like your puppy is more trouble than any other puppy, it simply means you are messing up more. You are failing to imagine the trouble he can get into, you are making mistakes. Sure, some puppies have more energy or are more destructive, but they all follow the same immutable laws of nature. They chew, they dig, they run, they jump, they climb, and they get into exactly as much trouble as you allow, no less and no more.
Don’t feel too bad about this. One of the many gifts your puppy will give you is humility. He will remind you that for all your vaunted higher reasoning skills, your thumbs, your speech and writing skills, you can still be outwitted by a ten week old puppy with boundless energy…
